Holidays in Stolkhom
by Cadeja
Summary: "Zhuge Liang, I really don't think it's necessary to harm him."   Many times I've admired Lord Liu Bei's kindness and grace during war. I know it has won over the hearts of the people, but it is at times it is a hindrance. This is one of those times.
1. Black Swan

Black Swan

"Zhuge Liang, I really don't think it's necessary to harm him."

Many times I've admired Lord Liu Bei's kindness and grace during war. I know it has won over the hearts of the people, but it is at times it is a hindrance. This is one of those times.  
I keep a tranquil expression as I explain the obvious to my now obtuse lord:"My Lord Liu Bei, I understand your distaste for bloodshed but keeping that serpent alive would be more than a bit misguide. It is an unnecessary risk for Shu."  
He looks at me in unwarranted horror. "Zhuge Liang how can you claim that? He's their strategist, he hardly even fights. There's no way he'd harm us."  
I plea my case again. "Exactly; he is a strategist. Wei will invade to get him. Or he'll find something to exploit, you should be aware of that man's deception and treachery "  
"...Zhuge Liang, Wei will retaliate if we kill their strategist or if we capture him. As for the rest of your argument... he's a strategist, they have to do what it takes to win, and to care only for their own men. You of all people should understand that. What he's done isn't what we should judge him by. _He's innocent_."

If it weren't for the current gravity I'd scoff to hear the guileful Sima Yi called innocent. But I must take this seriously given Lord Liu Bei's tone. There is desperation in his argument, proof that he indeed views this as a matter of life and death. This is odd, given that he was always the only one of us that had a say in Sima's fate. Him and I both send a sideways glance at Wei's ensnared and unconscious strategist .

* * *

Black Swan- a term for a highly improbable event


	2. Tu Quoque

Tu Quoque

Sima has been given a room and new robe, one of my robes to be precise. He is, however still unconscious. I know this primarily because I'm the one Liu Bei asked to watch over him. I curse my luck at being charged with taking care of the witch as I see Sima begin to shift. I begin to rise to retrieve Lui Bei, whom somehow believed he should greet our "guest".

I don't make it to the door before Sima awakens. Sima Yi stars screaming questions and threatening war. This calls Liu Bei. I try to get Sima to be silent as Lord Liu Bei enters. Lord Liu Bei approaches Sima and addresses him with a polite bow, "Master Sima Yi."  
For a moment Sima balks, before his sense of political tact and posturing kicks in. He straightens and returns the polite gesture, in mockery I'm certain. An overly soft and languorous voice fills the air. "Lord Liu Bei, you are keeping me?" Liu Bei gives a tense exhalation and purses his lips for a minute before speaking.  
"For the time being; I'm afraid we can't let you go back home to Wei...I will let them know that you are being kept safe and well." He adds the later hurriedly and the Sima's face registers very little surprise as he pushes some hair out of his face and his lips move. "Very well then. What became of my robes and papers?" the later part contains some trace of vehemence. Lord Liu Bei seems sheepish when he speaks. "I fear they were ruined, between the fighting and the water. We had to throw them away. I have some tailors here and they could cut you new robes. However…we've little silk to spare. And no dye of the color you wear."  
Sima's diplomatic facade snaps a bit as he gives a curt "I'll just keep these then". I am certain he knows full well how absurd he looks with my robes hanging too large on him. This interaction threatens to become a farce, so for Liu Bei's sake I intervene. "Lord Liu Bei, Sima Yi should receive medical attention, he was unconscious for a notable amount of time." Lord Liu Bei nods hurriedly, turns to leave and bids farewell, saying he will give privacy so I can examine Sima.

After Liu Bei leaves, I turn to Sima. "Sima Yi, you should take off my robe or I can't examine you." He keeps his mouth shut as he lets the robe fall from his shoulders. His skin's smooth creamy pallor betrays his freedom from toil and disease. His tone is impatient, "Zhuge Liang, if you could begin now." Not wanting to waste my own time I oblige. There are some nasty bruises on him but nothing unpredictable. Having finished the visual phase of my inspection I proceed to place a hand on his skin and feel his bone, lymph and muscle. I keep things professional as I glide my hands over his shoulders, back, chest, arms and neck.  
Sima's gaze is almost curious and he wears that neutral expression he has mastered so well. This takes me aback. I comment, hiding how unnerved I am. "I must admit I am surprised at how calm you are about having a hated enemy officer examine you."

Sima Yi tilts his head but keeps his expression steady as he speaks:"it's just a checkup." I pull the blanket and robe from his legs and begin to feel them. I touch a sprain and minor fracture, he winces. I revive our conversation.  
"Still, it must be infuriating to have me do this to you." I say, hoping he finds it as upsetting as I do. "No, not really" he says with some consideration as he continues, "I don't hate you so much as I hate the _inconveniences _you cause me on the field." I don't let a single thing I feel show. I pat his injured leg and speak with nonchalant humor. "That's good to hear Sima Yi, given that during the next few weeks you will be dependent on me." I get up to leave; a servant can be bothered with having to deal with Sima's leg. As I'm leaving I hear him shout that, on second thought he does hate my condescending attitude. I wave to him and shut the door to leave his damned presence/putrescence contained.  
I hate Sima, and Sima doesn't hate me.

* * *

Tu Quoque - a retort charging an adversary with being or doing what he or she criticizes in others


	3. Gedankenexperiment

Gedankenexperiment

Lord Liu Bei, of all people, had to chose to play nurse for the Sima. I had not done such myself thinking that the bothersome duty would go to some petty servant, not to our lord. Once again,I must take on this duty to spare my lord. Sima's leg is still damaged enough to leave him confined to the bed in an unnecessarily spacious guest room. It's noon, the time I'm stuck bringing Sima soup and bandages at. Both my hands are occupied, making the door a mess to get through. Lord Liu Bei, having felt sorry for Sima Yi's boredom, moved one of the library's few shelves to this room. Sima Yi doesn't even try to get up and help me with the door, or aid in carrying his soup and bandages either. He mutters out a "Zhuge Liang" without looking from my scroll that he's reading.  
"Sima Yi, put that down and take this."  
The moment he looks up the soup is shoved into his hands. Of all things to do he frowns, sending a writhing glance.  
"Is this really what you Shu eat, or do you want to starve me?"  
It's this routine again. At least it gives us something to speak of while I bandage. Yi leaves his leg out of the blanket and uncovered.  
"It's a delicious soup, Sima Yi. Be glad that we're feeding you _the exact same_ food we eat."  
He wrinkles his nose and stares at me. I remove his bandages; he no longer needs them really.  
"It's water... With leeks, and a mushroom. Goats eat better in Wei."  
Perhaps he wishes to eat Shu into bankruptcy? No, Sima is too vain for that. Now is the part of our routine where I scoff.  
"It's nice to know that you fatten goats while people are starving."  
He pouts and feigns offense. I finish tending to his leg, leaving balm and bandages on it, bothersome as it is.  
"Not our people, Zhuge Liang."  
"And that's all that matters, isn't it Sima Yi?"  
I'm about ready to leave when he just has to break from our agreed on skit.  
"Wait, Zhuge Liang," he sounds almost sincere as he continues, almost "tell your Lord Liu Bei... to dine with me tonight. Oh, also I would be willing to eat cheaper meats if it makes you and your peasants feel any better."

* * *

"Zhuge Liang! You won't believe what I was just discussing with master Sima Yi. He mentioned some agricultural programs from Wei, and started talking about how he could he help set up similar ones here in Shu." Hearing this isn't unexpected after having left Lord Liu Bei alone with that snake. "So, Kongming , him and I thought that we could set up a bureau for helping to manage these changes in agriculture." Sima Yi's words have a way of poisoning, but so far this doesn't seem harmful.  
"That seems a wise choice, Lord Liu Bei." Hearing my intellectual approval, my lord excitedly continues: "For the time being you can head the bureau, and Sima Yi is going to help." I nod signaling my lord to continue, feeling mild intrigue. "Lord Liu Bei, how does Sima plan to help without getting too involved in Shu's affairs."  
"Master Zhuge Liang, Yi is very invested in this, and plans to work with you. He's looking at our maps and records right now. He was so eager." And the snake's bite is poisons after all. I ask politely "Liu Bei, do you know if he could speak right now? So we can start things early."  
"I'm sure he can. It's great to see how into this the two of you are!"

* * *

When I get there, I knock and wait a second before opening the door to enter. The Sima is standing up with the aid of a cane we gave him, coming out of the bathroom we gave him. He stands by the desk and mumbles "Zhuge" with some surprise. I chuckle: "So you can walk after all, just not to help the hand that feeds you." Sima seems flustered, upset : "I had to use the bathroom, and... I hate being seen this way, the blasted cane makes me seem like a cripple."  
He is correct on his last point.  
Yi continues to stand by the desk, I assume too embarrassed to walk in front of me.  
"You've already gone through all our records, I presume?"  
He moves to sit on the desk, not caring that his robe slides open to bare his thigh.  
"Yes, I have. Your lord gave me them to me, so what would be the point in your asking me to return them?"  
"None, you memorized it probably."  
"So...what you want is?" his voice is a hiss, nearly.  
I pause, think. "You weren't given the locations and numbers of Shu's soldiers?"  
Now he chuckles and slides a too delicate hand in his soft dark hair.  
"Not even I am that good, Zhuge Liang."  
I lean on the door, prepared to turn and leave: "I had thought you could, Sima Yi."  
"I'm flattered, Zhuge Liang."  
I wave and exit, closing the door and leaving Yi to hobble back to bed in peace.

* * *

Gedankenexperiment- an experiment carried out in thought only


	4. Détente

Trade and roads, logistics, specialization of labor, supply chains,management and distribution are all those things that can sometimes be the ugly and greed driven means to an end. Hearing Sima Yi speak, they sound like his desired end itself, such as he is.  
Though he is helpful (and _almost _alarmingly skilled in his craft) illustrating a possible road and station, proposing the tax that could fund it and then being pretentious and eager enough to tell me: the road will bring trade and exchange, the trade brings specialization and productivity and then I should see some miraculous boosts in food production and an extinction of starvation, Yi boastfully _claims_. If the people don't like his plans I should somehow coax or force them into cooperation. I'll regret it if I don't, Yi says with a stern face and wagging finger.  
It's comical whether he means for it or not.

Now, I must wonder: "Sima Yi, why do you do this? Do you miss your job that greatly?"  
Yi yawns and then drums his fingers on room's desk he sits by me at.  
"It'll be a tragedy for Wei if all your people die out. After all, when we conquer Shu we can't put the dead to work on reconstruction.  
...but you were correct, I am bored, and my mind will rot if I don't do this."  
Sima Yi drawls out the last part, before yawning again and fidgeting with the properly sized deep gray robe he's now opted to wear, looking rather like a lazing cat as he stares out of half shut eyes while propping his head on the desk.  
I look past him, over his shoulder and at the maps and accountant's sheets he's scribled on. Even if no other good can be said of Sima Yi, he dose have some novel ideas that may well prove of use. It is always surprising, when something vicious and wicked can actually alleviate human suffering.  
"Zhuge, you're not actually going to use my plan. But review it and take note, and then speak to me of your thoughts on it, perhaps?"  
The last part of his speech holds an upward inflection, Sima's way of being friendly I assume.  
I lean back in the chair I have propped next to his:

"No, there are somethings of use here. You know well that we Shu can't use roads an opposing strategist mapped, but your policies are something for me to consider."  
Sima perks up sharply, giving me his full attention.  
"However, Sima, you leave much to be desired in terms of actual technological innovation and engineering, or even a knowledge of them. So that's something I'll have to discuss with my wife first."  
Now, Yi is at a full on glare, though once again lounging on the desk. He gives a scoff and then:  
"What great compliments _you_ give me and my work, Zhuge Liang; putting me down in favor of_ your dowdy wife_. I'm faltered that you're mentally comparing us. It's all the gratitude I ought to expect for helping you Shu, I suppose."  
And that last part recalls a thought I'd pondered earlier.  
"Sima, don't you think Cao Cao will be unamused when he learns you are doing this?"  
Yi wrinkles his nose in annoyance.  
"Doing what, Zhuge? Feeding inconsequential peasants won't change the tides of our war, so I've done nothing in truth."  
I hum, stroke my beard, speak.  
"Cao Cao simply struck me as the sort who'd take offense at an officer running of and aiding the enemy. And the prince certainly seemed the sort to become easily jealous."  
Yi glaces about the room before looking at me, seeming genuinely vexed and troubled, flustered and upset at most likely me.  
"It's not like that;_I'm not_ like that. I am not Cao Cao's pet, and I am not some Wei toady. They recruited me for my talent, and Wei can't afford to lose me. They can't _afford_ to "punish" me, I think."  
Yi mutters the last part, his " I think" a barely audible exhalation.  
I get up and take the scrolls from Yi's hands, gathering the ones I will need to show Lord Liu Bei. I hand his cane to him and begin to leave before responding:  
"As long as you know what you are doing, Sima Yi."  
He nods; I wave and exit.  
And he must, Sima Yi must have a goal in this, must have some deal or contact with Wei. Because Sima Yi is rational and pragmatic to the point of fault, he doesn't take risks like this. Sima doesn't commit betrayal to "save some starving peasants"; he does it to further his ends, I believe.  
Yes, of course.  
I should get these scrolls to Lord Liu Bei.

* * *

Détente -1. a relaxing of tension, especially between nations, as by  
negotiations or agreements.


	5. Sophistry

Sophistry

"Your lord thinks I'm brilliant." Sima gloats the moment I enter to see him. Liu Bei has been talking unnecessarily often with Sima Yi, but by now any damage that could be done has no doubt occurred, so there is no point in stopping either.  
"Is that an attempt to make me jealous, Yi?"  
"Somewhat...it's also that I'm realizing I don't hate him that much. Mind you I still think he's a sentimental fool, but he listens to me far more politely than Cao Cao and Cao Pi. He actually respectfully sits through my _entire_ lectures without interruption. I like that, Liang." He says, smiling sincerely.  
"I'm sure there's no greater compliment you can give, Yi."  
He gets up from the chair, sans crutch. Sima's movements are stiffer than his norm, due to disuse of the muscles, but other than that he walks perfectly fine. Sima Yi stalks toward me, stopping a few inches away with his head tilted upward arrogantly.  
"If you are here, Liang, you must have something to discuss. Or is there something else you wish to bother me for? Speak now, I hate wastes of my time."  
If I've read Yi correctly (which I have) _that _is his idea of playful banter.  
I move and sit at the empty bed of his room, he does the same, while I speak:  
"Considering that you're a prisoner who's never been shackled, interrogated or tortured, I have to say that your complaints are overblown, Yi."  
He leans over me trying to pry some scrolls I'd brought out of my hand; I don't let him.  
"I concede that point, Zhuge. But surely if it were up to you, my situation would be quite different." Yi says that a bit too amiably for the contents.  
"Do you really think that, Sima?"  
He keeps tugging at the scrolls, looking up occasionally as he speaks:  
"You're a practical man Zhuge; and you _love _your lord and kingdom far too much."  
I let go of the scrolls, his from before. Yi unfurls them onto his lap, being sure to place them where I can read. His eyes scan the text, noting the marks I've added. He points and inquires as to what one schematic means.  
"It's the rough sketch for a plow to use on plains." I respond, more at ease than I should be I should. Yi puts one of his hands down,  
letting it brush by me. He looks to me, eyes smiling:  
"So you are going to use my plans, Liang. Admit it." Yi tilts his head up, leaning into me with a shark's smile:  
"Admit that you need my intellect, _Kongming_."

I place a hand on his shoulder, to keep him at bay, before responding:  
"While there are some pleasant things of you, Sima Yi, remember I'm married."  
He snorts, breaking contact, proclaiming: "What foolery is this? You know I meant nothing of _that_ sort" with possibly false indignation.  
Yi gets to reexamining his papers, before stating that I should, for the sake of Shu's finances, attempt his programs in waves, doing the lower cost and more accessible regions first.  
"Please do this quickly, Liang. I must be present to monitor the first phases." Yi speaks in his soft voice, smoothing wrinkles on his robe.  
"I'll mention such to Lord Liu Bei, if you haven't already."  
"I have. But it would further strengthen my point if you seemed to give your independent approval." Yi speaks cordially, placing a hand on my forearm.  
"It's _commendable_ how true you are to yourself, Yi; not even letting your stay in Shu blunt that manipulative nature of yours." I arise, shaking my head.  
Yi sighs, rubbing his temples. "Just work with me and we may be able to achieve something astounding for this world, Kongming." When did Yi get the idea to call me by my style name?  
I have my hand at door's handle: "Very well, I will speak to Lord Liu Bei of it tomorrow."

* * *

Lord Liu Bei sits at the modest throne from he hears of the people's needs. Village messengers and emissaries enter, give their pleas and exit for the better part of the morn and noon. There is only a pause in this when our Lord and I must take our afternoon meal. During this reprieve I've always counseled Lord Liu Bei. The privacy from our other officers allows matters of strategy and the state to be broached more accurately.  
"Lord Liu Bei, in regards to Sima Yi - have we received word from Wei yet?"  
Our Lord pauses in drinking his tea to look at me, a uncertain silence setting in.  
"We have. Our messenger are negotiating as when we can hold a discussion With Lord Cao Cao."  
"I see. We should begin the development projects, while we have Sima Yi with us."  
Our Lord's visage softens as he smiles carelessly: "That's great Kongming, I'm glad to see that the both of you are getting along in this."  
Lightheartedly, Liu Bei holds up his teacup in a toast: "To the people."  
I join his toast.

* * *

**Sophism** in the modern definition is a specious argument used for deceiving someone. In Ancient Greece, _sophists_ were a category of teachers who specialized in using the tools of philosophy and rhetoric for the purpose of teaching aretê — excellence, or virtue — predominantly to young statesmen and nobility. The practice of charging money for education (and providing wisdom only to those who can pay) led to the condemnations made by Plato (through Socrates in his dialogues). Plato regarded their profession itself as being 'specious' or 'deceptive', hence the modern meaning of the term.

The term originated from Greek σόφισμα, _sophisma_, from σοφίζω, _sophizo_ "I am wise"; confer σοφιστής, _sophistēs_, meaning "wise-ist, one who does wisdom, one who makes a business out of wisdom" and σοφός, _sophós_ means "wise man".


End file.
